Living

What Psychology Says Makes A Good Marriage

This articles covers about What Psychology Says Makes A Good Marriage...

Marriage can be both easy and hard. On one hand, you choose someone to spend the rest of your life with. But on the other hand, that person becomes someone who you have to work at being with for the long haul. The key to any good marriage is learning how to weather storms together.

Develop Your Mediation Skills

All marriages will have their conflicts. But sometimes, things can get too heated to the point where it's emotionally or physically draining. To help you fix your relationship, you first need to understand what the difficulties are and how to talk about them properly. Luckily, there are many resources available that can teach you how to deal with conflict in a healthy way. With these tools, you and your partner can keep your bond strong for years to come.

Trust Your Partner to Have Good Intentions

No matter what happens, always remember that your spouse is probably trying to help you. Even if they seem to get on your nerves all the time, their intentions are good most of the time. Sure, making assumptions can make us look foolish sometimes but even if things don't turn out how we want them too, we have to remember that our spouses usually do things with good intentions. If you go into every situation assuming that your spouse is trying their best, you are less likely to end up feeling disappointed or blaming them. And since you trust that they have good intentions, you will both be more invested in solving any problems that come up. Keep in mind that "doing your best" doesn't mean being perfect-- it just means giving the situation everything you have at the moment.

Gain freedom

In a marriage, independence is very crucial. According to studies, we must first be happy in order to be happy in a relationship. That is the cornerstone to a happy partnership. With this information, wives and husbands must continue to set aside time for themselves and pursue personal interests so they can maintain their own happiness levels within the relationship.

Being apart from your significant other occasionally can actually have many benefits. It allows us to reconnect with our spirituality, re-establish our sense of ourselves, and keep track of our particular preferences, ambitions, and successes. Without relying on another person constantly reduces your determination and capacity to go ahead as a free thinker.

Give your partner the respect they deserve

As we all know too well, familiarity breeds contempt. Whether it's from the mundane routine of being around someone for too long or simply falling out of love, many people end up treating their spouses far worse than they would treat strangers-which is a truly terrible reality. To fix this, try to retrain yourself to see your partner in a new light and with reverence again.

Trust that forgiveness can change everything

Be willing to forgive your spouse, and allow them to do the same for you. Your marriage is a long-term commitment, so it's only natural that there will be some bumps along the way. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes, including your partner. If they wrong you in any way, remember this advice the next time you need to ask for forgiveness yourself.

Develop a Basis of Trust

According to John Gottman, a marital therapist and researcher, severe risks to marriages occur when couples participate in criticism, scorn, defensiveness, or obstructionism. The more damaging behaviors a couple displays between one another invites greater odds of divorce into the relationship. However, happily married couples know how to quarrel respectfully and accept responsibility for their role within disagreements. They are also much quicker to react positively towards each other's requests for making amends following an argument which then works to restore peace back into the marriage.

You're Not Required to Keep Your Hands off Each Other

The last time you held hands with your partner-- can you recall it? It might seem unbelievable, but it's all too easy to let this act of affection go. Have you ever tried arguing while holding hands? When you're physically touching someone, it's much harder to be angry at them. That's because touch often communicates more than words and reminds us that we're on the same side as our partners against the issue, not pitted against each other.

More often than not, one partner in a relationship desires physical contact more than the other. They are then labeled as if all they want is sex, when really they just have a strong connection and love for their partner that they express through touch.

Something as simple as holding hands can have a big impact on your relationship. The next time you and your partner are talking, try grabbing their hand in yours. It could change the entire tone of the conversation for the better. 

Most couples don't need to completely overhaul their relationship; they just want to know that everything will be all right. If you're constantly running into bumps in the road, it can make anyone feel like their relationship is unstable. Even if it isn't, here are a few tips on how to have a good marriage despite doubting your relationship.